Cutting Teeth (Spiritually Speaking) Part II

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"Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil."

–Hebrews 5:13,14 (NIV)

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In my last post, I shared how my current spiritual predicament has me exhibiting many of the same teething symptoms as my 6-month-old daughter.

As painful as it's been to face the dark, putrid recesses of my heart that have gone unattended for far too long, I can't help but feel overwhelmingly grateful.

I'm grateful for the loving discipline of my Heavenly Father, I'm grateful that I finally have a personal revelation of His grace, and I'm grateful that He is at work within me to sanctify me for His good purposes (see Hebrews 12:6, Romans 3:24, and Philippians 2:12-13).

I've found a lot of encouragement lately through studying the life of the Apostle Peter. While Peter certainly did a lot of incredible things in his lifetime, many of those deeds were actually incredibly foolish. I can relate to Peter—being led by the Spirit one moment and then getting dragged around by my sinful nature the next.

When you stop to think about it, it's amazing that Jesus chose to build His Church the "exemplar of the forgiven sinner," (Harrington, Daniel J. "Peter the Rock." America, August 18–25, 2008). That's good news for you and me. If Christ can see the potential hidden beneath the scruffy beard of an impetuous fisherman, He can certainly draw out our goodness as well.

In the Gospels, we walk with Peter through both his victories and his failures. Along the way Peter learns valuable lessons in humility, which serve to level-out his pride and solidify his shaky faith.

You might say that Peter has to endure the pain of teething before he can bite into the life of influence that awaits him. Well, you might not say that, but I might. In fact, I will. I'll share snippets from the life of Peter to support each point in this list of...

Cutting Teeth (Spiritually Speaking) Part I

My fussy little girl teething

My six-month-old likes to teethe on my hand while she wrestles herself to sleep. Last night, I was surprised to feel a little something sharp each time she bit down. When I rubbed my finger along her bottom gum, I was happy to discover—you guessed it—her first tooth, making it's way to the surface!

As thrilled as I am that her sweet smile will soon be filled with a set of chompers, I can't help but feel apprehensive about the teething journey ahead of us. I like to study-to-death whatever challenge is on the horizon, so naturally, I did some reading on the subject of teething last night.

I came across a bulleted list of teething symptoms, and thought that would be a good place to start (see article). It was all very familiar: irritability, biting behavior, sleep problems, etc. Midway through the list, however, a realization swept over me that caused me to pause. I read the list again from top to bottom. Then I read it a few times more, first with concern, then with laughter, and finally with some tears in the mix.

The symptoms were indeed familiar, strangely familiar. In fact, at 28-years-old, I can say with a fair amount of certainty that I'm cutting a new set of teeth—spiritually speaking, of course.

I'll go ahead and put it plainly so you can track with me through the metaphor. Lately in my Christian journey, I've sensed that God is calling me to deeper studies and challenging me to think and act with greater integrity. Just as my daughter will soon chew and swallow exciting new tastes and textures, I have this feeling that I'm approaching a new level of spiritual maturity, and that God is about to entrust me with some things I've longed for.

It's all very exciting. Along the way, however, the Author and Perfecter of my faith has brought to light several areas of immaturity that must be dealt with before I can sink my teeth into the good stuff that awaits me. It's as if, moment by moment, I can hear my Savior challenging me to deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Him (see Matthew 16:24).

"There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become  enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." –Carl Gustav Jung

Just in case all of that sounds overly impressive and noble to you, I must say, there's not one thing dignified about it. It's heart-wrenching, mortifying, and agonizingly painful to face the deep-rooted issues that I've tried so hard to keep concealed. Now that the jig is up, I'm forced to take a hard, close look at the flaws that make me such a debtor to God's grace.

It's an ugly process, let me tell you.

Then again, if you've hung around me lately, I probably don't need to tell you. Like my teething little girl, I haven't been myself lately. I've been, as we say, a fussy pants. (I thought I'd use the term we use for our six-month-old, rather than any of the adjectives that might naturally come to mind when seeking to describe a grown woman who's unpleasant.) It's true. One minute I'm crying, the next I'm unduly defensive, the next I'm distant and distracted. Every once in a while I allow myself to loosen up and laugh, but those moments are usually followed by an inner struggle that sets me on edge again.

In case you're thinking that I've just described a particular phase of my feminine cycle, I've got news for you: this stuff has lasted for weeks on end. Yes, please do add my husband and coworkers to your prayer list.

So, where am I headed with all this? Well, getting back to that list of teething symptoms, I thought I'd base my next post on 3 tell-tale signs that you're cutting new teeth on a spiritual level. Although I'm still learning along the way, I'll share some thoughts on how you can journey to a new level of spiritual maturity victoriously, with both your sanity and close relationships still intact.

Closing thoughts to chew on...
Have you ever journeyed through a similar "dark night of the soul," as St. John of the Cross coined his experience back in the 16th century? Perhaps you're in that place right now. If so, I certainly feel for you, and I pray that you'll seek God's strength to embrace your cross and keep pressing on:

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"I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

–Philippians 3:10-14 (NIV)

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Why Words Matter

Husbands' responses on facebook. Click to zoom.

This was supposed to be a post on the subject of true beauty. I posed a question on facebook asking husbands to share their wives' top five most beautiful qualities. When the responses came in, I thought I'd compile the results and use them as a basis for my writing.

But there's been a change of plans.

Five husbands stepped up to the plate and offered a reply. As I read through their candid, heartfelt expressions (to the left), two questions came to mind, which subsequently changed the course of this blogpost:

1. Why didn't more men seize this opportunity to publicly dote on their wives? Maybe I didn't chose an ideal time of the day to post the question, but perhaps there was more to it than that.

2. What's unique about these five men and their marriages? They and their wives must be doing something right in order for these words of affirmation to come so freely.

While I'm not sure if I have answers to either of those questions, I do know that each of the five husbands have been married for several years, surely having gone through ups and downs and gaining wisdom along the way. So, we can't chalk up their kind words to dewy-eyed infatuation. Their words were rooted in true, time-tested love, and we can learn from them.

Or maybe they each gave in to some big spending on Black Friday and hoped the compliments would rack up some points toward their wives' good graces... but let's operate under the assumption that this wasn't the case.

I'm no counselor, and I've only been married for five years, but I'm a student of God's Word and I like to think that I've learned a thing or two through observing human behavior and reading some good books on marriage. Anyway, this is my blog and I get to post what I want on it. Take it or leave it, here's my two-cents on words of affirmation.

Drawing the Line

Bugs Bunny dares Yosemite Sam to cross the line

I spent a good chunk of my childhood planted in front of the television with Warner Brothers cartoons flashing before my eyes. (This might explain my fear of falling pianos and my inability to pronounce succotash without a lisp.)

Every once in a while a scene from one of these animated treasures floats to the surface of my memory and offers a valuable life lesson.

Seems unlikely, I know, but stick with me while I connect the dots.

The other day, I mentioned to a coworker that I wouldn't trust myself to sit alone in an office with unopened boxes of pies, as she had been doing all day. I have restraint issues when it comes to baked goods, so I have to draw some hard boundary lines in order to prevent myself from overindulging. (See my post on weight loss for more on that.)

That conversation got me thinking about boundaries and the danger of trusting ourselves, or our willpower, in other words.

In the clip above, poor Yosemite Sam gets duped when Bugs Bunny dares him to cross a line again and again until he eventually falls off a cliff.

Can you relate? I know I can.

Just like that cliff off in the distance, we can look at any of the seven deadly sins and think, "I'd never fall into that. You'd have to be an idiot to get tripped-up that badly."

But Satan knows just how to position us where he wants us. He draws a line and dares us to cross it. Then he draws another. We might follow with some trepidation at first, but if we keep going, our inhibitions diminish and even disappear as we continually defy the Holy Spirit's conviction.

We tell ourselves that we're in control of the situation even as we're in the midst of compromising, one wayward step at a time—until we fall.

Thankfully, Christ-followers can avoid the rabbit trail to destruction with much greater success than our pal Yosemite.

3 Keys to Overcoming Temptation

Put Up Your Dukes

Exodus 17:8-16 (NIV) The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.” So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword. Then the Lord said to Moses, “Write this on a scroll as something to be remembered...” Moses built an altar and called it The Lord is my Banner. He said, “Because hands were lifted up against the throne of the Lord, the Lord will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation.”		I'm going to be honest upfront so you can decide whether or not you'd like to keep reading. I don't have the energy to be witty or clever tonight. This blog post won't include a fuzzy story to keep things light, and it might not be very eloquent. Here's why: The enemy of my soul nearly knocked the wind out of me this week. I've had to wake up, stand up, and put up my dukes, spiritually speaking. Ever been there? If you have, you might understand why I felt the need to put everything on hold and have church tonight. You're welcome to join me, or if you've had enough already, you can go ahead and X-out of this window. I won't judge. I know those funny cat videos won't watch themselves. Still there? Cool. I hope this post is worth your while. Go ahead and read the passage to the left. You'll need that if you want to follow along. (It's about how Moses had to keep his hands raised while the Israelites fought the Amalekites.) This story of perseverance in the midst of battle has been running through my mind all day. The Spirit of God even brought a little 3-point message to heart, complete with a song list. Hope this has meaning for you as it does for me...

Put Up Your Dukes

3 Keys to Victory

Called Out of the Shrub

We celebrated a nap time breakthrough a few weeks ago. All on her own, Karen stuck her thumb in her mouth, rolled over, and conked out for a two-hour siesta.

If that doesn't seem like a big deal to you, you've probably never rocked a sleeping baby until your appendages went numb.

Over the next several days, Karen really got the hang of soothing herself to sleep. It wasn't until her doctor's appointment this past Friday that we encountered a hiccup in her new routine.

Karen received 5 different vaccines, which not only made her cry in the moment, but also left her with side-effects that made her extra cranky all weekend. Consequently, she was too restless to nap all on her own. She needed the extra reassurance of my arms in order to feel secure enough to rest.

As I rocked my little girl to sleep and did my best to comfort her, I began to think about how our loving Father comforts His children in the midst of trials.

At one time or another, we each find ourselves in circumstances that shake us to our core. Like the prophet Elijah in 1 Kings 19, we might long to run away and take cover under a shrub.

I know I've been there. The next time you find yourself in a dire situation, it may be helpful to reflect on how God lovingly met Elijah in the midst of his despair, and raised him up to fulfill his calling:

My Cat is a Parasite: Considering Give-and-Take

Don't get me wrong, our cat is cute and all. But if a parasite is an organism that harmfully feeds off another without giving anything in return, Miss Willow fits the bill. Well, almost. In exchange for all the time and money we spend on her upkeep, she's benevolent enough to offer a never ending supply of fur, dander, and feces.

This revelation regarding our freeloading fur-ball caused me to think back to a high school biology lesson on symbiosis. It occurred to me that it may be possible to categorize the important relationships in my life using the terms that scientists have coined for interspecies interactions.

Allow me to demonstrate:

3 Major Types of Symbiosis More Info »
MUTUALISM	Mutually beneficial relationship
Example: Karen and I. Caring for my daughter gives me joy. As she's cared-for, she continues to grow and defy the laws of cuteness.
COMMENSALISM	One organism benefits and the other is hardly affected
Example: My Neighbor and I. My next-door neighbor volunteers her time to manage the gardening in our development. I do nothing for her in return. Shucks, that makes me sound horrible... I did give her a tin of cookies at Christmas.
PARASITISM	One organism benefits and the other is harmed
Example: My Cat and I. She eats, poops, and vomits. I buy her food and clean up her mess. If leeches had fur and whiskers I guess we'd keep them as pets too.

Evaluating the give-and-take in our relationships can be a healthy exercise. As we consider our needs and the needs we help fulfill in others, we can weigh-out the areas where we may be off-balance. In the case of my neighbor, I'd like to get to know her better and figure out how I can be a blessing in her life. The store-bought cookies don't seem to cut it.

Here are a few types of relational unbalance that come to mind:

Worthy of Love

Apparently children can't wrap their minds around the idea of their personal reflection until somewhere around 15 or 18 months of age. That means my 3-month-old daughter can't comprehend that she's looking at herself when she tracks her own baby blues in the mirror.

With this in mind, I can't help but wonder what she's thinking when she sees her reflection.

If we could translate her baby thoughts, would she say to herself, "Hello, little friend! You're cute. I like you!"

Or rather, "Ugh, those thighs. Girl, you oughta be drinking skim!"

When I think back to my own childhood, I'm not sure how old I was when I began to feel shame about my appearance. At some point in time, my focus in the mirror drifted away from the spinning ruffles of my dresses and settled on the bump on the bridge of my nose, the moles on my skin, and the way my calves seemed so stubby compared to everyone else's.

I'd like to say that I left those insecurities behind in my gel-penned journal pages from junior high, but if I'm honest, I still struggle. In moments of weakness, I still wonder if my shortcomings render me unworthy of love.

As a reminder for myself and a prayer for my daughter, I studied Psalm 23 this morning in light of God's all-sufficient love:

Why I Don't Drink - FAQ

I get a lot of questions about why I choose not to drink alcohol, so I thought it was about time I wrote a blog post on the subject.

Contrary to what some might assume, my reasoning behind abstaining has little to do with my Christian faith and much more to do with past experiences.

Before we dive in, I'd like to make things clear from the get-go that my motivation behind writing this post is not to stir up arguments. I'm just sharing my personal convictions, not passing judgment on anyone else's. Those who know me will attest to the fact that I'm a peacemaker to a fault, and definitely not a fan of controversy.

So, let's begin. I thought I'd tackle the subject in the form of questions I've received in everyday conversation:

Karen Gets in Touch with Her Latina Roots

One of the awesome things I've discovered about parenting is that it's socially acceptable to behave like a complete goofball, as long as your undignified behavior is an apparent attempt to keep your child entertained. For example, now that Karen is more alert and holding her head up a bit, we spend lots of time bopping around to my favorite old songs.

Here's a little glimpse of our fun this morning as Karen got her groove on—Latina style:

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"…I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes…" - 2 Samuel 6:21-22 (NIV)

How to Reach the Moon

I'm only seven weeks into this mommy gig, but one duty of parenthood that I'm really enjoying so far is the business of lulling our little girl to sleep. I love to watch her eyelashes flutter as the pacifier drops from her mouth. Before long, her breaths are accompanied by tiny sighs, and I can see her pupils darting around under her eyelids.

It's fascinating to watch her expressions as she dreams. I can't help but wonder what's going on in that newborn subconscious of hers. I also wonder if she'll experience a vivid and memorable dreamworld, as I have through the years.

One of the earliest dreams that I can remember goes all the way back to when I was three-years-old.

Free & Brave

"And that, my dear, is why our country is the land of the free and home of the brave." I concluded Karen's mini-history lesson with these words this morning as I buttoned-up her 4th-of-July-onesie. She displayed her appreciation for my rant on patriotism by sneezing so that milk came out of her nose.

As I dabbed at my sweet little mess with a burp cloth, I began to wonder if the words I'd just shared with her were true. Sure, back in 1776, our forefathers fought against one of the greatest world powers of the day to defend their inalienable rights. But are 21st century Americans as brave as our Revolutionary forerunners? Are we as free as they hoped we'd be?

On Mother's Day

My mom and I at my baby shower. Many of

our guests drove quite a distance to show

their love and shower my baby with gifts. The

least I could do for them was wear a ridiculous

hat made of ribbons and bows (the handiwork

of my friend, Emily). 

I’d like to dedicate this post to my mother, Carol.

Mom, as I look forward to raising my daughter-to-come, I’ve been thinking about all the ways that you provided for me, taught me, and helped me to grow. Little Karen is so blessed to have a grandma as fun and inspiring as you.
This Mother’s Day, I’d like to share a list of things about you that I’ve always admired:

1. Your Faith
I’m thankful that you raised me in Christ’s love. I love the way that you pray, cherish God’s Word, and are always ready to talk about what Christ has done for you.

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“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes …” Romans 1:16 (NIV).

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I'm All Verklempt!

Baby Karen's crib and bedding (from a

family member who was too eager to wait

until the baby shower). The crib mattress

is a generous hand-me-down from our

friends, deAnn, David, & Havah.

Verklempt: (adj) - Overcome with emotion; clenched; also written ferklempt. Etymology: Yiddish. Dictionary.com

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Sometimes English words just won't do. I've resorted to Yiddish to describe how I feel when I think about all the well-wishes and thoughtful gifts from friends and family who are overjoyed to welcome our firstborn into the world.

We haven't even had a baby shower yet, and our nursery is already filling up with necessities and sweet little outfits that were too cute for our friends to pass up. Beyond that, not a day goes by that someone doesn't express their excitement and speak a blessing for our child-to-come.

It's so obvious that our baby is loved before she's even born. Chris and I couldn't be more thankful.

As I gaze into our child's crib in the morning light, I can't help but think about a photo that a friend of ours, Pastor Rob Tucker, took during a mission trip last summer. It captured an adorable Ethiopian child (maybe 4-months-old), looking up from inside a rusted metal bucket.

Songs that Make Me Happy

15 Songs that Make Me Happy Angelina (1945) – Louis Prima Papa Loves Mambo (1954) – Perry Como Paperback Writer (1966) – The Beatles Oh Happy Day (1967) – The Edith Hawkins Singers Our House (1970) – Crosby, Stills & Nash Oye Como Va (1971) – Santana Call Me Al (1986) – Paul Simon 500 Miles (1988) – The Proclaimers Just a Little Talk With Jesus (1996) – Donnie McClurkin Brighter Day (2002) – Kirk Franklin The Best is Yet to Come (2002) – Donald Lawrence Oh Praise Him (2003) – David Crowder Band Pure (2005) – Superchick Happy (2006) Ayiesha Woods Say Hey (2008) – Michael Franti

What does it mean to be in the world but not of it? (See John 17:14-19.) At one time, my go-to response to that question would have been a list of behavioral do’s and don’ts. I’ve revised my thinking since then, thankfully. While Christians are called to live a sanctified life, we can easily fall out of balance when we focus our energies on outward cleanliness and neglect what’s inside (see Matthew 23:25-26). I wish I’d grasped that revelation instead of a pair of scissors a few years ago when I sanctified my music collection. As a shy child who rarely connected with kids my age, my parents played the most influential role in shaping my music preferences. They both enjoyed the chart-toppers they’d grown up with in the 60’s and 70’s. My dad’s tastes were a bit more eclectic, though, in that he also loved classic jazz, 80’s hits, and pretty much anything with a dance beat in a foreign language.

Love is Like a Bucket of Chicken

Each year, when I flip a page of the calendar from January to February, I'm gripped by a sense of excitement coupled with anxiety. Although the calendar photo of a puppy licking a kitten is mildly consoling, I can't help but wince when my eyes drop to a date smack dab in the middle of the month: my husband's birthday. It happens to fall on the day known to the rest of the world as Valentine's Day.

Double the pressure? I'd say so.

After some intense prayer (and a few emotional breakdowns in the shopping mall), I usually manage to pull together a gift bag full of thoughtful things that Chris wouldn't think to buy for himself. Then, when the 14th rolls around, I do my best to look nice, shower him with admiration, and carve out some quality time for gift-giving and strawberry shortcake.

I'd say things went pretty well this year. We ended up working late, but Chris seemed to enjoy the gifts. He also bought me a bouquet of flowers and a bucket of fried chicken. What can I say? He knows me.

Now that a week has passed and the roses are wilting, I've begun to wonder what it would be like to wake up each morning with a mission to show my husband how much he means to me. I'm not talking about gifts and cake. (Although, more cake is always a good thing.) But rather, what would it be like if my sensitivity to his emotional needs were heightened? What if I were keenly aware of how I can affirm him, serve him, spend quality time with him, or share a gentle touch or a gift—just when he needed it most?

Jesus said there's no greater love than when we lay down our lives for our friends (John 15:13). Those of us who are married have been blessed with a life-long best friend to love. Too often, though, familiarity and busyness cause us to neglect our spouse in one way or another. We lay down our lives for our jobs, or our children, or our aging parents, but somehow our spouse's needs fall by the wayside.

Left unchecked, feelings of emotional neglect can cause us to become dangerously susceptible to temptation. When a seductive image fulfills a longing, or the milk man comes along with some compliments we haven't heard in a while, we can find ourselves headed down a slippery slope.

I'm no counselor, but here are a few suggestions on...
How to open the door of communication about your needs:

Reflections on the Game

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Update (9:21 AM, 2/4/2013): We're having a girl!

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I watched some of the Super Bowl tonight... I might as well have tuned in to a Japanese game show sans-subtitles. I didn't comprehend a thing the commentators said, and the action on the field was all a blur of burly men crashing into each other.

Call me un-American, call me a typical girl, call me dull; just don't call me and try to explain the rules. I've resigned to the fact that football is beyond me, and I'm at peace with that.

I came away from the game with just two bits of understanding: (1) The guys in purple won, and (2) beautiful women sure got a lot of screen time. Between the cheerleaders, the halftime show, and the commercials, I saw enough flawless females to make me a little sick inside.

How Do You Keep a Dream Alive?

Chris and I spent several hours on Saturday clearing out the spare bedroom to make room for our baby-to-come.

It was an exciting process, but it was also a true reality check: We’re going to be parents (yikes), and our townhouse will soon be filled with baby things. We’ll have to restructure both our priorities and our living space to accommodate our little one.

For me, that means bye-bye art studio, hello nursery.