Mighty Mouse Syndrome (Part III): A Testimony

"Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced." –PSALM 105:1-5

To conclude this post series on Mighty Mouse Syndrome, I'd like to share the story of how God led me to my first career job (the position I still hold today). I felt led to record the details of this testimony as a sort of digital stone of remembrance (see Joshua 4:4-7).

Unqualified, Unprepared, & Unhappy

"This is a complete waste of time," I grumbled as my '94 Camry rolled along 30 West, the morning sun glistening on the Susquehanna to my left and right. It was the first time I crossed the dividing line from Lancaster County to York, and I was certain it would be one of my last.

In my final semester of college at Millersville University, I had my sights set on Harrisburg—not York. It was a class requirement that dragged me across Route 30 painfully early that morning. I was on my way to a portfolio review hosted by York College.

The inconvenient drive and the glare from the river weren't the only things that irked me on that trip, however.

I was mad at myself. The portfolio in my backseat wasn't prepared for a scrutinizing critique, and the only person I had to blame was sitting in the driver's seat, her chewed-up fingernails digging into the steering wheel.

Susquehanna River - Photo credit: http://luirig.altervista.org/

The portfolio work I'd pulled together represented an exasperated decision I'd made to switch majors in my senior year, from Art Education to Graphic Design. Although I only needed one more pedagogy class and student teaching to fulfill the course requirements to teach, I backed out and decided to become a designer instead.

Two factors led to the tough choice to switch majors:

(1) I'd been grappling with a sense of calling to ministry since childhood. I lacked the confidence to stick with Bible school, so I decided to pursue art teaching as a safer option. As graduation drew nearer, though, I didn't have peace about dedicating my life to teaching art. I realized that I needed to come away with a degree that would lead to a more 9-5 schedule than teaching, allowing more time for volunteering in ministry.

(2) In my junior year, I learned that art teaching jobs were nearly impossible to come by (in the wake of "No Child Left Behind" and the resulting cuts to specials programs in schools across the country). I had faith that God could open a door for me to teach despite the odds, but understanding the difficult job market was enough to tilt the scales for me in my decision making.

A graphic design degree seemed like a decent Plan B... at first. My boyfriend (later my husband, Chris) thought I might have some potential as a designer. Plus, the job market was better in that field, and the switch to graphic design still allowed me to graduate on time. That meant I could follow through with my plans to spend the upcoming summer wedding-planning and job-searching in the Harrisburg area (where Chris worked).

But there was one problem. I wasn't qualified for a design job.

Mighty Mouse Syndrome (Part II): Pride & Timidity

This post is a continuation of my last post on Mighty Mouse Syndrome (click to read).

What if God answered all the prayers that you lifted up in the past week? How dramatically different would your life and the world look today?

If your faith flow is running low (as mine often has), the culmination of your answered prayers might bring about safe travels, blessed food, and skinny jeans that allow you to exhale. That's sad. Especially when we're invited by our Heavenly Father to ask, seek, and knock (see Matthew 7:7-12).

What keeps us from praying for the BIG stuff—the needs and wants that cut so deep to the core of our hearts that we can barely find the courage to breathe them aloud?

Reasons might vary from person to person, but I'd say it's a sad slurry of both pride and timidity that can gunk-up our souls and clog our faith-flow:

Backup? Why would I need backup?
Original artwork: stevegoad.deviantart.com

Pride: I think we get hung up when we confuse spiritual maturity with self-sufficiency.

Growing from childhood to adulthood involves increasing levels of independence as we learn new skills and venture farther from our parents to explore our environments. Children of God, however, are called to remain childlike—to be humble, full of wonder, and ever-dependent on our Heavenly Father (see Matthew 18:2-4).

It almost sounds like we're forever needy... which makes the Mighty Mouse in me cringe. But if we're mature enough to swallow our pride, we recognize that needing God isn't a bad thing. We bring glory to the Father whenever His strength shows through our weaknesses (see 2 Corinthians 4:7 & 12:9–10). Of course, there's always a balance between praying for God's help and doing our part. St. Benedict called it "ora et labora," or pray and work.

Timidity: What if God doesn't come through in the way we ask? Does that mean He doesn't care? Does that mean we're not good enough to see our prayers answered? Keeping our prayers bottled up often seems like a safer option than testing what we claim we know about God's character—it gives God an "out" and it allows us to manage our deepest desires on our own. If things don't work out as we hoped, then it's merely our Mighty Mouse efforts that failed. God isn't to blame. 

But that's absurd. If our desires are rooted in right motives, we have no reason to hold back (see James 4:3). Yes, it's always difficult to grapple with unanswered prayers, but childlike Christians understand that prayer isn't all about seeing wishes come true. We pray because we long to draw close to the Father, to understand His ways, and to rely on His strength (see James 4:8; Psalm 139:24; Isaiah 41:10). And yes, we pray believing that He can "do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" (Ephesians 3:20–21).

I'd like to share a study on a woman who initially qualified for an Old Testament Mighty Mouse badge of independence. When God answered the unspoken prayer of her heart, however, there was no stopping the shameless audacity of her faith.