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| Caught in the act (skipping school at age 6) |
My parents have vastly different personalities, and they express their approval in different ways, for different reasons. It was tricky for me as a kid to grasp what sort of behaviors could make both of them happy.
For instance, one morning when I was in first grade, my mom determined that I should stay home from school. I wasn’t sick or even pretending to be sick. She simply felt that it was best not to interrupt my creative flow. At the breakfast table, I’d started some “masterpiece” in marker, and she couldn’t bear to ask me to stop. My dad had already left for work, so she made the executive decision to keep me home without his input.
I couldn’t have been happier. I kicked off my sneakers, donned my puppy slippers, and Mom and I spent the entire day drawing, singing, and taking pictures. She praised everything I did and assured me that I was destined to become an accomplished artist one day. We had a blast together. It sure beat the lame-o phonics lesson that I would have been subjected to in school.
When my dad came home from work, I bounded toward him with my sketchbook and told him all about the marvellous day we’d had. He listened quietly. Then, to my surprise, the “angry vein” bulged from his forehead.
My mother tried to explain her reasoning before he erupted, but it was no use. My dad expressed his disappointment in her judgment in no uncertain terms (with lots of shouting and demonstrative arm flailing, as you’d expect an outraged Italian to conduct himself). Then he took me aside and explained how valuable it was for me to attend school and get the most out of my education. He told me that many children around the world would never receive opportunities to learn like I did, and that I should never take school for granted.
As much as I enjoyed staying home and receiving endless affection from my mom, I understood that my dad disciplined me because he loved me. He wanted me to succeed just as much as my mom did; his encouragement just looked a little different than hers in that instance. Looking back, I know I wouldn’t be who I am today without the combined praise and correction that I received from my parents.
Discipline from Our Heavenly Father
God's parenting style can’t be defined by earthly standards like authoritarian vs. permissive. He’s equally just and merciful, jealous and patient, fierce as a lion and meek as a lamb. He’s impossible to figure out completely. Even so, we don’t have to struggle to learn how to please Him.
When we accept Christ into our hearts and God adopts us into His family, His Holy Spirit within us causes us to cry “Abba, Father” (see Romans 8:14-17). As we’re drawn into a relationship with Him, the Spirit helps us recognize what pleases God and what grieves Him.
To understand the Spirit’s work within us on another level, let’s return to the fire metaphor from my last two posts. When we light wood on fire, the substance of the wood is converted to light and heat energy. The hotter the flame, the less particulate matter remains in the end.
Likewise, when God’s Holy Spirit sets us aflame, He develops gifts in us so that we can become lights in the darkness.* He also burns up our sinful nature and exposes our weaknesses. As we’re consumed by Him, less less and less of our worldly strength remains, and more and more of God’s Power is at work in us.†
Although times of correction don’t feel warm and fuzzy, we can consider them reminders that our God has plans to use us. Whether we’re in a season of blessing or discipline, we’re on the receiving end of Our Heavenly Father’s love.
Do you ever struggle to understand how to please God? Do you fear the consequences of bad behavior and strive to live by religious rules? Do you develop your own set of moral standards based on what feels right? Maybe you’ve quit trying to please Him altogether because He’s too distant—too difficult to figure out.
I’d encourage you today to invite the Holy Spirit to be your guide. As you do, I pray that you will begin to experience His promised freedom, clarity, and continual transformation (see 2 Corinthians 3:16-18).
“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.” - Psalm 143:10 (NIV)
“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children… Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” – Hebrews 12:7-11 (NIV)
* Acts 1:8; Romans 12:6-8; 1 Corinthians 12:7-11; Galatians 5:22-23; Ephesians 4:11-13
† Malachi 3:2-4; John 16:7-11; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10; James 1:12
