Update (9:21 AM, 2/4/2013): We're having a girl!
I watched some of the Super Bowl tonight... I might as well have tuned in to a Japanese game show sans-subtitles. I didn't comprehend a thing the commentators said, and the action on the field was all a blur of burly men crashing into each other.
Call me un-American, call me a typical girl, call me dull; just don't call me and try to explain the rules. I've resigned to the fact that football is beyond me, and I'm at peace with that.
I came away from the game with just two bits of understanding: (1) The guys in purple won, and (2) beautiful women sure got a lot of screen time. Between the cheerleaders, the halftime show, and the commercials, I saw enough flawless females to make me a little sick inside.
I know, I know—a mature Christian woman shouldn't allow herself to get down in the dumps that way. After all, we're fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) with the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4), and radiant and unashamed because our faces look to God (Psalm 34:5).
I've read the books, gone to the conferences, and bought the t-shirts. I should know, and I do know, that I'm beautiful simply because God made me. I know that His love is all I need. I know I should be thankful for my good health, and the love of family, and the gifts and opportunities that God has given me.
If I'm honest, though, with Beyoncé strutting across my TV screen in leather lingerie, it's a struggle to remember what's true. I glance at my short legs, run my finger over the bump in my nose, pat down the stubborn frizz in my hair, and find myself warring against the same old feelings from high school.
In six hours, I'll have an ultrasound and find out whether Chris and I are having a girl or a boy. Thinking about parenthood makes me anxious for a lot of reasons, but tonight I'm concerned about what I'll pass on to our children about self-worth. I don't want them to struggle with body image the way I did as a teen. I don't want them to wonder if they're worth anything, just because they don't measure up to our Western view of what's ideal and attractive. I don't want them to wish they were better-looking, or taller, or smarter.
I know I can't do much to control the struggles that our child-to-be will encounter, but I believe I can strive to model Godly confidence. That's my prayer—that God would help me to continually overcome my own insecurities, so that I can be strong enough to guide our children as they face their own.
Have you struggled with comparing yourself to others? How can you surrender your fears and doubts to Christ? If you're a parent, how have you helped your children comprehend that God values our hearts more than outward appearances?
"In the reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children shall always have a place of refuge." Proverbs 14:26 (AMP)
