It was an exciting process, but it was also a true reality check: We’re going to be parents (yikes), and our townhouse will soon be filled with baby things. We’ll have to restructure both our priorities and our living space to accommodate our little one.
For me, that means bye-bye art studio, hello nursery.
I found myself getting misty-eyed as I gathered my art portfolios from the spare room and handed them off for Chris to lug up to the attic. I’d created much of that artwork with hopes of becoming an art teacher one day. God led me on a different career path, and I wouldn’t trade my current job for anything, but it was a meaningful moment to allow my old ambition to slip away.
There are some dreams, however, that are non-negotiable.
At one point, Chris came down from the attic and found me sobbing on the floor next to a framed poster. He raised an eyebrow, and I explained that I’d created the poster based on a burden that I have on my heart for a certain country. Chris knew what I was talking about, since I’ve mentioned this particular passion time and again ever since we were dating. He didn’t understand what the tears were about, however.
“I don’t think I’m ever going to go,” I blubbered. “We’re having a baby, and now I’m going to be stuck in America forever.”
Chris smiled and rolled his eyes, reminding me that lots of people travel with children. He assured me that we’d visit the country one day, and that having a baby didn’t mean an end to all of my previous dreams.
That made me feel better, but I refused to let him take my poster to the attic. It doesn’t fit nicely with the décor anywhere else in the house, so I hung it in the bedroom closet. Now I can look at it as I pick out my shirts each morning. I’m happy about that.
For some reason, I’d always imagined ministering overseas before I became a mother. Now that we’re starting a family, it’s scary to think that it might be years or even decades before God allows my dream to come to pass. It makes me wonder if I’ll be able to keep the desire alive for when the door finally opens for our family to go.
Thankfully, the Bible is filled with inspiring stories of individuals who were called, but then asked to wait. Some shining examples that come to mind are Joseph (son of Jacob), Caleb, King David, and ultimately Jesus Christ. God shaped their hearts for years before he launched them into the climax of their life purposes.
Based on those great stories of faith, it seems all we can do while God shapes us is (1) love Him with all our might, and (2) trust that He’s up to something. That's my take on it, anyway.
Do you have any dreams that are on hold? How do you keep your passion kindled in the waiting process?
"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." -Isaiah 40:30-31
