"You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and I have appointed you [I have planted you], that you might go and bear fruit and keep on bearing, and that your fruit may be lasting..."
–John 15:16 (AMP)
While I'm pretty sure I've heard it preached that way before, I'm not so convinced that's what Paul meant in his letter to the Ephesians (see verse). If you're like many of us on the sanctification journey, you've noticed that some old ways are just harder to shake than others.
Maybe your swearing habit ended immediately after coming to faith in Christ, but you still struggle with depression, or anger, or a phobia, or an eating disorder, or failed relationships, or an addiction, or another fill-in-the-blank clinging issue from the past.
Wouldn't it be great if the Christian bookstore carried a spiritual anti-static spray? Apply liberally from head to toe for lifelong relief from those pesky, clinging, old-nature garments. Sorry, either LifeWay is fresh out or they've got it tucked away in a vault somewhere and you need to whisper a codeword to access it. I tried "Jesus Fish," but the clerk just pointed me to a rack of bumper stickers and gummy bracelets. No dice.
So what's the deal with the stuff that won't come off? Get your gardening gloves and your floppy sun hat ready—it's time to head out to the orchard for an object lesson.
I wouldn't call myself a horticulturist by any means, but I've watched enough plants die to have learned this rule of green thumbs: If a plant is struggling, check for problems at the root.
When a skilled gardener notices a plant that's wilting or barely producing fruit, he doesn't simply fling fertilizer at it, spray some pesticides, and hope for the best. He takes a close look at it, uprooting it if he has to, in order to treat the problem at its source.
Depending on how long you've walked with Christ, you may have read books on the subject of your affliction, downloaded sermons, made positive confessions, attended seminars, and stood in prayer lines long enough to wear out your shoe inserts.
If you've done all that and still find yourself struggling, you may have been attempting to treat the fruit without examining the root. You might have a case of deep-down root rot that's going to keep causing problems until you're brave enough to dig it up.
What is Root Rot?
In the gardening world, root rot occurs when soil becomes infected with a fungus, often due to overwatering. As roots loose oxygen in this stagnant setting, leaves and fruit gradually wither until the entire plant eventually decays (view source).Let's think of our life-shaping experiences from birth up to the present as our underground root system. Above the ground, our leaves and fruit are our present contributions to the world around us, both good and bad (see Matthew 7:15-20).
Healthy Roots: These are positive, growth-promoting experiences from our past, such as: affirmation from parents, peers, and role-models; educational opportunities; spiritually formative experiences, etc.
Rotten Roots: These are negative—often shameful—experiences from our past, which may include: insults, neglect, trauma, introduction to perversion, and abuse in its many forms.
Spiritual Root Rot: Like the natural world, this spiritual condition occurs when rotten roots go untreated. After we come to faith in Christ, a beautiful network of healthy roots begins to take shape within, bringing forth fruit in our thoughts and actions, in our home life and professional life, and in our ministry. However, even with all this new life bursting forth, it's possible for sickly branches and sour fruit to hang on. Why? Because sanctification is a process.
Take a look at the Amplified translation of Ephesians 4:22-24 (emphasis added). Notice the words that indicate an ongoing procedure:
"Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion; And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude], And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God’s image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness."
I have a whole basket of gnarly fruits to choose from, but I thought I could slice this one up easily enough for the sake of example. I've struggled with social anxiety since early childhood. Although I gained a healthy dollop of self-esteem when I came to faith in Christ, certain social situations can still trigger a damaged root way down deep, causing me to revert to old behaviors, such as: over-apologizing, avoiding eye-contact, struggling to raise my voice, replaying perceived social errors in my mind days and months later, etc. It's a problem because it keeps me from living the victorious life that I'm entitled to in Christ (see 1 Corinthians 15:55-57).
My Topical Treatments: Grooming and a Mental Checklist
Taking the time to do my hair and makeup in the morning increases my inner belief that I'm capable of gaining the approval and respect of others. Additionally, when I'm gearing-up for a social occasion, I've learned to rehearse thoughts like: remember to smile and make eye contact; remember to speak up; stay positive—nobody likes a complainer; look for ways to be courteous and serve others; don't get stuck on flubbed words—take a breath and keep going; remember to listen closely and care enough to ask questions, etc.
Those techniques work wonders up to a point, but they're useless when I'm caught off guard, or when I'm wading through a difficult season that knocks my self-esteem down a few notches.
My Rotten Root: Belief that I'm a Burden
I've asked God this week to help me discern the root of my struggle. At the start of this quest, I felt led to find commonality in some recent situations that triggered anxious thoughts and behaviors. As I thought through the occasions that came to mind, it occurred to me that I felt tremendously in the way in each one. Whether at work, or at the grocery store, or at a family dinner, I felt that I was wasting another's time or that I wasn't suited to be part of a conversation or task.
Next came the difficult part: turning back the clock to childhood memories. Although there were plenty of good and happy times, there were also lots and lots of arguments—mostly about money. Early on, I became convinced that my existence was a costly inconvenience to the adults around me, and that all the fighting could stop if only I didn't have to be fed and clothed. I felt that I didn't deserve anything new, so I never asked to go shopping, but kept an eye out for hand-me-downs instead. At school, I felt inferior to my peers and mostly kept to myself to avoid teasing (usually about my shortness or the Brooklyn accent that clung for a while after I moved to Pennsylvania). I made some good friends as a teenager—truly by the grace of God—but I kept a safety wall around my innermost thoughts and feelings for fear of rejection.
With these puzzle pieces in place, I'm beginning to understand why I still struggle with a nagging sense that I'm a burden in social settings.
Okay, so now that I've more or less uncovered the root of my rotten mess...
What Should I Do About It?
Let's take some cues from gardening (see source):
Why go through the trouble of unearthing the pain and shame of the past? After all, aren't we supposed to forget what lies behind and press on?
I've asked myself these questions, and I think they're worth addressing.
Firstly, I think the passage referenced above from Philippians 3 is taken a bit out of context at times. (Paul is talking specifically about forgetting his past accomplishments as a Pharisee so that he can't boast in his flesh.)
Secondly, we should never examine the past in order to hold on to it and claim victim status in the present. We should only dig up our past shame for a time, in order to deal with it once and for all—to finally break the chains and crucify it—so that we can put it to rest and move on, keeping in step with the Spirit (see Galatians 5:24 in context).
Thirdly, God made you to flourish and bear fruit even into old age (see Psalm 92:12-15). Think of your family, think of your place of influence in the world, think of your ministry. Imagine yourself at age 80, looking back on your life. For the sake of those you love, don't you want to be as fruitful as you can be, making the most of every opportunity (Eph. 5:15-17)? If tackling the deeply rooted issues of your past can possibly help you to be a better spouse, a better parent, and a better leader all around, wouldn't you want to start digging?
Further Study:
Mark 11:12-21 – Jesus Curses the fig tree. Bear in mind that “in Palestine the fruit appears before the leaves . . .” (The Life & Times of Jesus the Messiah, Alfred Edersheim). This fig tree was putting up a front. Even though it was out of season, it's showing of leaves was an indication of fruit, but Jesus found none at all when he inspected it. In the morning, Mark notes that the tree was withered from the roots.
Let's not be like the pretentious fig tree, putting on a show in order to mask our root rot. Let's expose the fruitless deeds of darkness and come into the light (see Ephesians 5:8-14).
Suggested Reading:
The Me I Want to Be: Becoming God's Best Version of You, by John Ortberg
Like the roots in this photo, you may need some outside help. Whether you confide in a trusted friend or counselor, or seek understanding through a book on your area of need, dealing with the issue is going to require serious commitment to gain understanding and stay the course toward healing.
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." –James 5:16
"Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." –Psalm 51:7
"...Jesus answered, 'Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.'" –John 13:8
Once you've examined the roots of your issues and turned them over to Jesus for cleansing, it's time to put it all well behind you and let the pruning begin.
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." –Isaiah 43:18-19
"For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." –Hebrews 4:12
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." –John 15:1-2
"In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood... Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children... No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." –Hebrews 12:4-11
Gardeners recommend using hydrogen peroxide, an unstable molecule, which releases a single oxygen atom and a molecule of water when it breaks down in soil—bringing oxygen to suffocating roots and eradicating infection. This renewing power reminds me of the work of the Holy Spirit.
"I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me comes one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire." –Matthew 3:11
"And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you…For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.'" –Romans 8:11-15
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control..." –Galatians 5:22-23
5. Replant in fresh soil with good drainage.
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers."
–Psalm 1:1-3
